Today I was re reading the SPRING season of a Marriage in the book The Four Seasons of Marriage by Gary Chapman that our couples group is studying.  I think in my mind that my marriage is often times in a SPRING season but really it is all depends on each persons perception of how our relationship makes us feel.  In a Spring season of marriage you should experience emotions such as excitement, joy, and hope, you will have attitudes of anticipation, optimism, gratitude, love, and trust and your actions will be nurturing, communicating, and planning.  So, there is a sense of excitement about your life together, your making plans and have great hopes for the future.  Anyway, as I was saying, I often think of my life with my husband in a season of spring because I feel so many of these things listed above but do I make it feel like spring to my husband???  Does he see my JOY, HOPE, EXCITEMENT, GRATITUDE....are my ACTIONS budding like a spring flower??  And most of all is he feeling JOY, HOPE, EXCITEMENT, GRATITUDE???  See even though I am in a SPRING season in my mind I need to nurture and help my husband SEE that and be there too.  The way that I can do that is by learning and focusing on his LOVE LANGUAGE!!! 

Now, for me, this is easier said than done.  I think about it, I know what I need to do and I DON'T.  I focus on my four kids and their needs and I give all my energy to what they need and I don't leave much extra for my husband.  In my mind I feel like we take time for each other each week having a date night and we work together as a team in all aspects of our kids lives, and household responsibilities but does that have anything to do with his love language??  So, I think it is more important to focus on what season we put our spouse in!!!

I am not suggesting that you get overly excited about something if that is not how God designed you to respond to things.  But we can all express gratitude, trying to be intentional about doing things that our spouse would appreciate, start making plans of how you want your marriage to be and be optimistic about getting there!!!

I am hoping that you can BRING IT HOME...and focus on taking steps to enter a season of SPRING in your marriage.

Please feel free to leave a comment and join us in the FOUR SEASONS of Marriage study..

Listening to GOD...

Can you hear me now.....if you haven't heard God in an audible way maybe you can use my experience as HEARING from God.  For several months I have felt GOD was showing me that I needed to FOCUS on my KIDS and MARRIAGE, and close some doors so others would open.  What greater blessing to HIM then to be the wife, mother, and daughter (his child) that he designed me to be.

I myself have never heard from God in an audible way but I have felt a tug or two...haha.  Well, God got my attention today.  I mentioned God was showing me, well at the time he was just bringing things to my attention to pay closer attention to with my children and my husband.  TODAY HE SHOWED ME.

This isn't going to be easy to put out there, but with my focus being on my family I just recently removed my youngest child from daycare to FOCUS on him.  He is a strong willed "blessing from God" which you will hear more about as you read on.  But with that decision comes a schedule change with work and a shift in how I will do things.

Normally, I would schedule my appointments on Tuesday and Thursdays but now I have my boys.  So, I thought, I will take them with me while I RUN IN to this property (for a staging consult) and they can watch a movie in the car.  SAFE, LOCKED in, I have the KEY..........BUT as I was finishing up with my 15 minute appointment I was in the kitchen of this home and I see my van SLOWING rolling down the driveway.  I said, "Is my van moving?" and started running out the door.  I snugged my way in the driveway along side this huge dumpster so I am running beside the dumpster and my van, as it is rolling down the driveway, jump in the car and quickly put my brakes on.  Really, this could have been a scene from a movie.....a horror story.

My five year old didn't even know what was happening and obviously my 3 year old (in a month) didn't know. 
After I left I TRIED to move the ignition while my van was in a PARKED position and it didn't budge, how my son got it to move is beyond me.  STRONG willed did I say.....

All I could think of is ok God, I HEAR YOU NOW!!!!  This got my attention, what seemed to be a scary event couldn't have ended up much worse. 

It is time to FOCUS on my family which means if I have my children I have no time for appointments.  Not even a quick RUN IN.  Maybe you have had a tug to do something different or stop doing something you have gotten in the habit of doing because it is just easier.  Have you been  HEARING FROM GOD? Are you listening??

Most of the time, doing was is easy, doesn't make it right.  

Does anyone else have an experience of a time they learned a lesson like me???  Is this something you could BRING HOME??

I had a great experience at the school yesterday helping make sure the kids didn't have milk mustaches, dirt on their shirts, their clothes were buttoned properly and that their hair was neatly brushed.

What I experienced and I think moms and dads should know...

After being at school all morning and playing outside at recess I am almost positive their hair isn't what it was when they left mom or dad that morning.  Then, here I am trying to figure out if they were their hair on the left or right or how their mom placed their clip in their hair. 

I also realized when one child told me..oh no, I don't need to do anything to my hair because my mommy did it for me.  Which I was thinking, "That was 6+ hours ago."!!!

Then, there are the older kids who are really cool and really don't want to be fussed with or even stand a certain way when posing for the photo...hahaha.  I just had to laugh with them!!!

Spending some time talking to the photographer during a few breaks in between classes she was telling me how she wished she could just give instructions once and they would get it.  RIGHT!!!

Then, it was my oldest daughters turn to take her photo and she was a little too GIDDY that I was there helping and really was the worst student when it came to following the photographers instructions that I had to tell her.  "ACT AS IF I AM NOT HERE". 

Whether your that mom sending your child off and praying that someone will fix up your child before they click that photo or the mom that tries to help out...............remember other circumstances take place so keep the retake date on the calendar and pray that the second time is a charm.  When you receive the first photo shoot....take a few minutes to chat with your child or send a little instruction sheet to the volunteer or photographer that might read like this.

My daughter isn't supposed to have knots in her hair and I would prefer her not to wear her brothers sweatshirt, she parts her hair on the left and I place the clip 1 inch from her part in her hair!!!

Blessings,
Lori

The Nature of Marriage...

Our Couples Study group is getting started this week!!   Walking through the seasons of marriage.  Pressing through those difficult seasons and learning from them.

Our study is coming from The Four Seasons of Marriage by Gary Chapman and these last two weeks we learned about the Nature of Marriage!!!

These are the Essentials
COMMITTED
UNITED
INTIMATE
PURPOSEFUL
COMPLEMENTARY

These seem like a few simple things to follow but throw in work, laundry, kids activities, cooking and cleaning, hormones, night terrors, etc sometimes these important things can be pushed aside and not given much intention.

Even when we know we are committed and united as a couple if we fail to pay attention to the other essentials it puts our marriage into a difficult season.

We might be intimate and complementary in our relationship but we are not united or committed.  You see, some people can give their spouse what they NEED out of manipulation but they really aren't committed and united the way God intended marriage to be.  While others are totally committed but are still struggling to meet the NEEDS of their spouse.

Can you imagine if we all started focusing a little on every aspect of these essentials??  Can you imagine the example for our children of what the Nature of a Marriage should look like?  Follow us through this study and see if there might be some essentials that you could BRING HOME.  Share your thoughts and comments and we will share ours!!!  Give us helpful tips and bible versus to help us remember Gods plan and purpose for Marriage!!!

Looking forward to the journey!!

So, I was chatting with my dear friend last week and we got to talking about COMPARING.  Do you compare your life with anyone else?  Do you try to become somebody you are not?  Why do we do this?  Do we REALLY KNOW inside the story of the person we want to become or be more like??  I find myself trying to BECOME someone that I am not.  Now, I am not saying that I don't want to always try to GROW,  LEARN, ACHIEVE and live for so much more, because I do believe God wants so much more for me and my family.  I am saying that I try to live up to certain expectations of other people because I compare myself to what may seem to be a GOOD thing.  When really that may be only how it appears. There is NO ONE made just like you, with the same personality as you or the same hair color or texture as yours.  There is no one that has the same children that you do.  They might have just as many as you, but all their personalities are different.  They won't have the same husband, the same relationships, the same family upbringing, the same success.  So, why can't we be the best we can be with what we have and LIVE OUR OWN LIVES wanting what works for US?  Relying on GOD to help create in us the ultimate example of what he designed US to be as a mom, wife, friend, etc.  God gave us all gifts and talents to be use for his GLORY.....

Find happiness in who you are, and JOY in what you do.  Praise God for the blessings and not question why someone else has it better than you.  Do they??  They might just want what you have.

Wall or Door

So, my husband and I were just talking yesterday about how I will need to have THAT TALK with my daughters soon.  We were talking about SEXUAL PURITY.  Then, today I read yesterdays message from Family Life in their daily connections for couples and the title was OPEN AND SHUT..

If she is a wall, we will build on her a battlement of silver, but if she is a door, we will barricade her with planks of cedar.  Song of Solomon 8:9

It went on to say that as parents one of our responsibilities is to protect the sexual purity of our children.
Those who are WALLS remain PURE and aren't open to peer pressure and those who are DOORS are flirtatious, prone to get emotionally involved too quickly.  They are also easily manipulated by the opposite sex.

For the daughter who is a WALL we need to praise her, and celebrate her morals, cheer her on.  For the daughter who is a  DOOR we need to build her a cedar barricade-hard, strong and durable.  Not of rules eventhough we need rules but a barricade of LOVE, RELATIONSHIP.  Let her know you care, chat regularly, spend a lot of time together, stay involved in her life, get to know her and her friends.

Ask God for wisdom in building that barricade.
Pray for sexual purity of all your children!

Great timing for this and I hope you go to the website to find an abundance of information!!!

Lori

Where will you be in FIVE YEARS?

If YOU keep doing what you’ve always done, YOU’LL keep getting what you’ve always got.”

I just love this quote…over the last year I have found several quotes that I like and can relate to in some way, but this one ALWAYS STANDS OUT.

So many times we wish our lives were different or we want more for ourselves and our families but we don’t do anything to make it happen.

I feel that if you want to see a change you have to MAKE A CHANGE.  It takes a great deal of FAITH and COURAGE but you will never KNOW if you don’t take the STEP.

Whether it be, your job, your faith, your health, your family, your dream………..

If you take a moment to think about the picture of your life in FIVE YEARS…WHAT DOES THAT LOOK LIKE??  So, if you keep doing what you are doing today will your life look like you want it to in FIVE YEARS.

I have learned that if you want to make a change you have to have a clear VISION…keep it POSTED where it is VISIBLE. 

Your DREAM BOARD….

Can you name off the top of your head 10 things you would LOVE TO ACCOMPLISH or DO in your life??  If you can’t name them off the top of your head, you most likely won’t accomplish them.  MAKE YOUR LIST….YOUR DREAMS CAN COME TRUE!!!!

ONE STEP AT A TIME, small shifts in your daily routine…….

Reflection...

This morning, as every morning, I was reminding my girls to brush their teeth and hair and to dress warmer today because it was a little colder than yesterday!!  Then, a thought came over me....we want our children to be a reflection of us and to be prepared for their day.  Or at least I do, I want them to go to school looking their best, clean, awake, alert and ready to hear what their teacher is teaching them that day.  I want them to smell good and be the best that they can be, have their homework done and wear their gym shoes on GYM day, because that is a reflection of me.

I think God has to look at us that same way!!!  Do we prepare ourselves for HIM daily?  Taking time to do our homework (bible study, devotions, reading the bible) so that we can be the best example that he wants us to be.  Are we alert and ready to hear what he has for us TODAY???  We are a reflection of HIM, the LIGHT.  Do we have our SERVANT SHOES on?  He loves a servants heart.  What can we do differently today to SHINE THE LIGHT in a dark place and be a beautiful reflection of GOD and all that he is???