Wednesday, October 22, 2014

Looking back at my prayer......

Looking back at my prayer after two years of being asked to Home school my oldest daughter and finally God placing it on my heart.  My prayer was to connect, strengthen, encourage, grow and focus on her!!!
My prayer was that it was going to be a blessing for her and our entire family.  Do you ever second guess things that you felt were placed on your heart from GOD??

Oh I have.....and it has only been 8 weeks!!!
When I am faced everyday after school with the same arguing between my three oldest children, when I continue to to feel like my kids aren't respectful of my husband and I, and we feel like the worldly things are taking over our family.  I feel like I want to say, this isn't worth it, I have given up so much to be home with my daughter while the other three are in school and NOTHING has changed. 

It is then, that this beautiful song comes to my mind.

Change my heart oh God,
Make it ever true.
Change my heart oh God,
May I be like You.

You are the potter,
I am the clay,
Mold me and make me,
This is what I pray.

Then, I look at myself, and I think of all the things I pray for God to CHANGE IN ME.  I pray that people in my life, the most important one, which is my husband doesn't give up on me.  We are told that God will never give up on us and I want to be like Him. 


I have to remind myself this is a blessing to have a daughter who wants this time with me, FOR WHATEVER REASON, and I have to endure and be patient. 























 


Proverbs 22:6 says Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it. 
Whether or not I see a noticeable change in how my daughter responds with her siblings, I know that I am with her every morning, in the word, studing a Christian curriculum with the ability to hear of how God has worked in the lives of so many people that have been life changers spreading God's word and doing great works for Him.  I believe that this will shape her spiritual life and will HAVE IMPACT in whatever dreams she has and whatever mission God reveals to her for her future. 

So today, even with the doubt and fear, I still pray to connect, strengthen, encourage, grow and focus on her!!!

Friday, October 3, 2014

Not what I thought this day would look like….



It was Sunday morning and my husband and I were SO EXCITED, we are starting a new sermon series today at a new church.  Praying and anxious to see if we could make it through with our 4 year old son sitting in the service with us, I’m still not ready to start him in another class during church.  He is probably more ready than I am.  Sitting in church the one thing I am anxious about is that maybe the church would be really quiet, saying a prayer and getting ready to start the sermon and at that moment he would start signing out loud his ABC’s.  That is a huge accomplishment that we are very proud of, but just not during church.  So, we have been praying for our son (that was diagnosed on the autism spectrum a year ago) to speak and now we are praying he doesn’t use his words during church. 

Service starts, we are doing pretty good, all 4 kids sitting together, but we never know what our son is thinking and how he will respond to different situations.  I brought in Johnny from the Monsters University movie, just a little something for him to hold onto.  He decides to drop it, doesn’t want anyone to pick it up for him.  That was his plan.  We didn’t know, so as his sister picks it up for him, he gets frustrated and upset and tosses it again.  I tell her to just leave it, then the boy sitting behind us kindly picked it up and set it on his chair beside him.  How sweet, thank you I said, as I tried to keep him from seeing it wasn’t on the floor.  At that point I am thinking OH NO, I better get him out of here before he sees it isn’t on the floor anymore and throws a fit.

Let me go back to my feelings as I was worshipping this awesome, exciting morning.  I was thinking to myself, I want to be more joyful, happy and relaxed.  I am, for the most part, but sometimes LIFE, the untidiness of my home and a slight overbooking of schedules cause me to be a little rigid.

I leave the sanctuary, still in site of the sermon and all the sudden my entire family is walking out.  WHAT???  I was still going to make the best of this.  JOYFUL, HAPPY and RELAXED….until I see the look in my husbands eyes.  I will get into what happened another time.
So, our church experience didn’t end up like we thought, we instead had to have a teachable moment with our older children.  One child that thinks she has to help us parent and the others who have forgotten that they are old enough to worship and listen to the sermon with us.  Its ok, we needed that!!!   It wasn’t our plan but in the end Gods plan was more important for our family, as always.

James 1:2

Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, 

Do you ever ask your self, am I strict enough, not enough???  You’ve heard stories of children rebelling from growing up in a really strict home, but you have seen what happens to children that have lived in a not so strict home.   
Sometimes everything happens so fast , we are quick to react, the anger sets in.  Is that how I should have handled that?  You’re in the moment and sometimes the things we do in the moment aren’t that effective.
So, we have to accept the grace that God gives us and we confess it was wrong, and we say we are sorry.  We were really upset but didn’t need to respond how we did. 
We have to have a game plan to put in place for these kids.  Therefore, we pull out tools, books from parenting classes, we go google crazy, search pins on Pinterest for Great consequences for kids and 4 Ways to get our children to behave and respect us.
We sometimes forget the ONE amazing tool that is available to us, the words we find in the bible. 

Proverbs 22:6

Train-up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Ephesians 6:1-4

 Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right.  “Honor your father and mother”—which is the first commandment with a promise—  “so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth.”
 Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Hebrew 12:11

For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.

So, we talk as parents and we PULL the strings tighter, tell the kids there will be consequences if they disrespect us and how we want them to act, share what it tells us in the bible. 

We give them grace just as God gives us, we teach them just as we have to always remind ourselves what is important to God as parents, business owners, Christians and we aren’t always the example we want to be, we mess up over and over again.  WHY do we expect so much from our children they are sinners just like us and we are here to shape and mold them for their future.  To give them TOOLS from God’s word to LIVE BY.
Anxious and excited to see what happens this weekend and what we can teach our kids when the push it again.
#bringingithome

Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Fearless

So, I ran into a friend the other day who I hadn't seen in awhile.  She knows my son who is 4 and is on the Autism spectrum and I told her he was in preschool all day, everyday now.  She was excited for me, she knows he thrives with structure and this meant all four children were in school all day, everyday too.  I said, but my oldest is home!  We are homeschooling her this year!  She goes on to say that her children wanted to home school but she felt they needed the social aspect of public school.  After leaving her home, it made me think of a few things.  MY BABY is gone all day, everyday and my OLDEST is home all day, everyday.  Wow, how did that happen??  It happened because I am open to doing what each of my children need, when they need it.  I had NO DESIRE to home school, I am not equipped, but GOD put it on my heart and my daughters for some reason.

I am living and loving fearlessly.  I am wanting to have a huge IMPACT on my children's lives.  If a child is not social, they may not ever be, and when my daughter asked me to home school her for the second year in a row, I looked at it as an opportunity.  I know that not everyone's situation will allow you to home school, but it may not be homeschooling, it might be something else you never thought you would or could do.  The point is to try and listen to what God is placing on your heart and don't be afraid or think you can't do it.

In our situation, I know that there are THINGS I will want to be intentional about so that my daughter can still be around other children her age.  But when I think about the negative impact that being social can have I think I am ok with her not trying to FIT IN, not worrying about who her friends are.  I have her home, I have an opportunity to grow her spiritual faith walk, reassure her she is perfectly and wonderfully made and teach her who her real BFF is each morning as we open up our bibles to learn scripture and talk about Who God is!!!

I send my son to school everyday, all day because he needs structure, he has the opportunity to work with amazing people who specialize in helping to develop and help fit pieces of his puzzle together.  Was it easy?  NO, he is my baby, at this age all my other children went three days a week for a few hours.  If there ever comes a time where I feel God telling me to do something different, I WILL.

Sometimes we have a plan, we have our lives figured out of what we think it should look like and sometimes we don't see what blessings come with going with Gods plan for us.  The daughter that was always against me that I would butt heads with is now for me.  Our relationship has changed.  Some day she will realize what I gave up for her and only her, someday she will know deep in her heart that I lived and loved her fearlessly.  That is the impact I want to have for each of my kids.   I think when we give in we see that there is so much more we were made for. 

Friday, September 5, 2014

Do you have a child that you BUTT HEADS with?

Yesterday I mentioned one desire was to BOND with my daughter through the process of home schooling.  She is the one so far that I seem to butt heads with the most.  So you ask WHY, give her the opportunity to home school?  This is the first year that all my kiddos would be in school, WHY NOW?  I have worked so hard these past 11+ years raising up my kiddos, why would I want to take on such a task?

I guess the selfish side of me would agree, it is MY TIME to have the opportunity to hear myself think, to process a thought without getting interrupted, to work on projects that have gone undone, to take a day and not do anything maybe have some downtime or to focus on my business and help other people change their lives.  What about the fact that I could have easily said, I am not equipped to teach, I don't have a teaching credential?  Easy, Done, there was my easy way out.

I believe this is what God is calling me to do, that I have a ministry right here in my home.  He knows the desire I have for my daughter, he knows that I want a loving relationship and not a strained relationship.  He has put me in a situation to be able to do this, with an open and supportive husband and I feel he will equip me with everything I need to make it a successful journey and a blessing to our family. 

Would you believe me if I said that I have already seen signs of our relationship changing??  YES I have!!!!!  It is like she is on my side now.  We are a team, she wants to help, she is stepping up to the plate, AMEN.

Thank you Jesus, for bringing us to this.

Thursday, September 4, 2014


1st Week of HOME SCHOOL complete ~ Well, we have completed our first week!!  It was a great week, getting to know the curriculum, starting our day at 8:30 with scripture memorization and the bible (which wasn’t soon enough for my daughter she wanted to start at 8 right when we got home from dropping the other kiddos off at school) and ending our day at 10:30 when it was time to pick up my preschooler.  Next week will be different because my preschooler will have a few all days or longer days and I am SURE WE WILL TOO!!  I was amazed at how much more my “student” wanted to do then we actually needed to this week.  She even asked for homework.  So, a few times I have wondered, WHY does she want to home school so bad??  What is it really???  I still don't know and maybe it will come out as we go but maybe not.  Was it the fear of Middle school?  My husband and I told her that in just a few days she would know her way around and it would feel just like the elementary school.  I know that it is part of growing up to learn to overcome our fears but I looked at this as an opportunity.  One thing she keeps saying is that she didn’t want to be with the older kids.  See our middle school is in the same building at the high school.  Normally it is the older kids that she clings too so that was a big fear of mine.  I guess God knew what he was doing when he put this on her heart and my heart was open to it.  Is it that she really, really wants to spend more time with me and WHY??  I am home all the time.  BUT she loves to be home with me when all the other kids are gone. 

So back to the curriculum, I am learning so much.  It makes me wonder about my middle school years. I think I must have had many distractions as a child, which is one of the reason I made the decision to take this opportunity when she asked me again after a 1 1/2 years.  When I was 11, just as my daughter is, my parents were going through a divorce.  It was a long process and they kept a lot from me for a long time, maybe I had distractions which caused me to feel like I didn’t retained a thing.  I feel like I am relearning everything (which I love).  Maybe my daughter is a lot like me and worried more about what was going on in the classroom (or at home) with her friends, then what was going on with her education. Don’t get me wrong she is a great student, average grades but easily distracted.  We found out this week that it is so easy to be distracted; even at home we are dealing with a ton of distractions starting our first week of school.  But the beauty of it is, we have TIME, we don’t have to move on we can let the distractions of contractors come and go and not feel rushed to move to the next subject.   My prayer and hope is that our relationship will form a huge bond and that her education will be a positive experience.  I love having the opportunity to chat with her about everyday LIFE stuff without the little ones around.  I think that might be one thing she really loves too.

Looking forward to sharing more….#bringingithome

Sunday, July 13, 2014

A few years ago when I had the desire to start this blog I had no idea where it was going.  I know that I thought that I wanted to share all that I was learning about my journey with my faith but then I realized I am NOT a writer and I have a lot of distractions with a husband, four children, and growing a business.  So put those together and that is why my posts are few and far between.  I have been on a journey for a few years of serious personal development and I had gone in a way that I thought for sure was God's path for me but over the last few months God has been speaking to me about my family, about all the blessings he has given me, about my huge desire to HELP OTHERS but the biggest thing that he has shown me is that I have a ministry right here in my home, that is the most important to him.


Almost a year ago my youngest son was diagnosed on the Autism spectrum and after a 6 month grieving period (that I didn't realized was actually happening) I accepted it.  He started preschool, we were blessed with amazing teachers, a para of his own (IN PRESCHOOL), and amazing specialists at the same elementary school that all my children attended.  He over the last year has made huge strides, but as a mom I continue to fear the unknown for him.  Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart!


I pray that all his pieces will start to fit together and that although he may always have struggles (as we all do) that he will get to do anything his heart desires to do in his life. 

I do understand that their are families dealing with much, much, more and I don't take light of that at all.















So, now going back almost two years ago, we moved and my oldest daughter (who has a personality a lot like mine) takes a little time to fit in because we are a little on the shy side, INITIALLY.  She was negative about moving most of her 4th grade school year.  She wanted to be home schooled but I wanted to teach her to find the positive in everything and learn to adapt to the environment, meet new friends and PRAY each day for the things that were bothering her.  She had an amazing teacher who I still spend time with to this day and we have had nothing but good experiences with our school but with what God has spoken and put on my heart and having a daughter that will be going into 6th grade (with a desire to still be home schooled)  I have set my desires aside, I have changed my way of thinking that one of the reasons for our move was NOT because I was going to home school (because over the last year we were introduced to several families that home school), I have realized that my greatest joy and blessing would be to spend time with my oldest child everyday, to connect on a deeper level, to strengthen her faith, to slow down her worldly experiences, and to encourage her to focus on who God has created her to be.

 

Then, my final words today....2 Timothy 3:16-17  All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.  I am trusting in God to equip me because this is one area that I never felt I would be called.
2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/equipping,-spiritual#sthash.uIRryAyQ.dpuf
2 Timothy 3:16-17 All Scripture is inspired by God and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, for training in righteousness; so that the man of God may be adequate, equipped for every good work.
- See more at: http://bible.knowing-jesus.com/topics/equipping,-spiritual#sthash.uIRryAyQ.dpuf

Tuesday, April 22, 2014

What does having a MOMMY DAY look like to you??

I am taking a MOMMY DAY today and what this looks like to me is a day without my beautiful children needing me.  It is a day that I can get things done but they might not be things on my to-do list.  Do you take time to relax and enjoy a day of just doing the things you want to instead of the things you NEED TO??  Every mom has a different set of demands whether it is the intense time from a mother with an only child or the continuous needs of a mom with multiple children.  Whether they are healthy or have special needs we all have demands and we all handle them differently. 

How do you refuel?  Are you OK with saying I need a break?  If you are like me you feel the need to draw closer to God in these times but the tugging and pulling of your everyday tasks to be sure all your school check lists are done, your home check lists are done, appointments are scheduled, etc take you from doing the thing you need the most.

I have walked through several bible studies over the years after having my children and have realized that our time with the LORD will refuel us.  So, with that, if we can OPEN up our day in the word and really soak it in, letting all the distractions of this world go.  We will walk through our day using his strength from his words in the best book on this planet, THE BIBLE. 

You might feel like me, well I already have to get up so early with my kids that it is hard to try and get up any earlier.  I promise, IF YOU DO, your time will be blessed!!!  If your children still beat you to it, sit still with them and REFUEL for 10-15 minutes.  Keep trying to make this part of your everyday life. 

I understand the struggle because I was there, and I still have days where I am woken up at 5:00am with my youngest child pulling back my covers from my bed.  I just think if you try, you will see the difference.

Satisfy us in the morning with your unfailing love, that we may sing for JOY and be GLAD all our days. Psalm 90:14

I can do all things through Christ which strengthens me.   Philippians 4:13

I am taking a DAY but try to take some MOMMY TIME...you deserve it!!!  XO