Guilty of the blessings....

Is this happening and am I really here?  Five days ago myself and two of my children {the two that are homeschooling} arrived in FL to start the longest vacation I have ever had.  This first week would be our first time in our condo that we purchased almost one year ago, it has been rented every month since we purchased it.  So, I am considering this week a WORK WEEK, although WORK it is hardly because this is all FUN for me!!!  I couldn't wait to paint the walls which needed some TLC, or go shopping for some decor that was more our style.  This is a DREAM COME TRUE to have an investment property, for me to manage our investment property, and to actually fix it up a little, in SUNNY, WARM, FL!!! To spend time here IN DECEMBER makes me smile!!!  Over the last few years, last year expecially, I started to dread the months that my plants were buried in the snow, pulling out the winter gear, after flying through the summer realizing that we only golfed once or twice and wishing we would have eaten out on the patio more, went swimming more, or to the lake.

Having been born and raised in CA and now calling my home MN for the last 15 years, getting married and having 4 kiddos in a 6 years span I have realized that I love the sun and warm weather.  During the crazy times of raising small children, I think winter was a little break for me but now I want to do the things I LOVE like garden, golf, take walks, sit in the sun {with sun block of course}, and swim.

So, the dream that I was dreaming is now a reality.....am I really HERE and why do I feel guilty of the blessings??  Every morning I wake up and come out to our balcony {IN DECEMBER} and the sun is shining, hovering around 60 degrees in the morning and 80 mid day, and I can hardly believe it.  How did I get here?  Do I deserve this???

Back at home, my husband and two public school kiddos are getting ready to join us but wouldn't you know that right before I left after waiting three years to do our kitchen remodel on our home, we decided to get the ball rolling!!!!  And of course the builder tells us...better to start now then waiting because the cabinet maker has some jobs lined up that will push you out a few months if you wait.  RIGHT, we should start right now,  I was already out of town as my husband was working and being Mr. MOM with the other two kiddos and now {HE} has to pack up our kitchen, dining room and living area.  I don't like that he is having to do this all on his own but I LOVE the thought of having work started on the kitchen while we are gone!!

So, I am in FL for a long vacation, back at home my desire for that beautiful new kitchen is getting started, I am blessed with a husband that works hard, and is smart....should I be feeling guilty of the blessings?

I don't want to feel guilty I want to feel blessed, I want to feel that we have lost, we have made bad decisions, we have learned, we have had struggles, we have grown, we have survived, we give, we share, we care, we set goals, we work together, we have dreams for our family and we have desires to fill our hearts, my husband WORKS HARD and NEVER GIVES UP, honors GOD, puts him first and doesn't put his success before his family.  So, I choose to be THANKFUL, to continue to bless others, to put GOD first above all things and to continue to work hard and try and do what is right.

So, one thing that I want to do with all that I have learned throughout my journey is to ENCOURAGE you to never give up...NEVER!!!  You never know which way the road will turn, never stop dreaming and working towards even the smallest of goals.  And look back for just a minute to see how far you have come, all that you have accomplished, be thankful, be prayerful and then look forward to what your future will hold!!!

#bringingithome

Do you care about your words you speak?

Are you one of those people that really care about your words or do you speak what you want and don't really care?  Well, I really care, I always try to be careful what I say,  I pray that the words I speak came out right, that nobody is offended, that I understand others feelings and although I share my thoughts, there are always other ways to look at things.  There is always a perspective that I haven't thought of.  Everyones lives are so different, their marital status, their dreams, their health, their children, their extended families, their goals...and there is no way that I can know everything going on in a persons life to protect them from WORDS.  I pray that the people I share life with know this and would care enough to talk to me, to communicate how I might have made them feel, share their differences with me but sometimes that doesn't happen.  Communication is a difficult thing...I just talked to a friend yesterday about how we certainly wouldn't want to be a preteen or teen  growing up now in a word of social media where communication is so easy via text, instagram or snap chat because when they see these friends in PERSON...oh no, they have no clue how to communicate face to face?

So, I ask myself, why do I share so much about how I feel, about things I love, about experiences I have had and the life that I am living??  Who really cares?  Why don't I just listen???  I don't know...I am thinking that I want to let my friends know... YES, I have experienced that TOO, or this is what worked for us, or I can't believe this happens, I want to be real, I want to see if liked minds will lead us to the plan that God has for us, WHY would He bring us together RIGHT?  So, I share all that I have and all that I know, hoping to connect or maybe even help just one person, hoping to make a deeper connection with friends!!!!  I'm living a life, growing everyday, making mistakes, wishing I wouldn't have, wishing I could have, my heart wants to help but sometimes it hurts without even knowing or intending to.   The main thing I have to focus on from all of this is God knows my heart, and it is HIM and only Him that I have to answer too in the end.  As for now, I will continue to pray for discernment, keep my eyes fixed on him to help me continue to learn his ways,  to continue to try not to intentionally hurt anyone and to comfort and help those in need.   

If you have a experience you would like to share and how you have grow with the hurt, spoken or unspoken words I would love for you to share.  #bringingithome