Fearless

So, I ran into a friend the other day who I hadn't seen in awhile.  She knows my son who is 4 and is on the Autism spectrum and I told her he was in preschool all day, everyday now.  She was excited for me, she knows he thrives with structure and this meant all four children were in school all day, everyday too.  I said, but my oldest is home!  We are homeschooling her this year!  She goes on to say that her children wanted to home school but she felt they needed the social aspect of public school.  After leaving her home, it made me think of a few things.  MY BABY is gone all day, everyday and my OLDEST is home all day, everyday.  Wow, how did that happen??  It happened because I am open to doing what each of my children need, when they need it.  I had NO DESIRE to home school, I am not equipped, but GOD put it on my heart and my daughters for some reason.

I am living and loving fearlessly.  I am wanting to have a huge IMPACT on my children's lives.  If a child is not social, they may not ever be, and when my daughter asked me to home school her for the second year in a row, I looked at it as an opportunity.  I know that not everyone's situation will allow you to home school, but it may not be homeschooling, it might be something else you never thought you would or could do.  The point is to try and listen to what God is placing on your heart and don't be afraid or think you can't do it.

In our situation, I know that there are THINGS I will want to be intentional about so that my daughter can still be around other children her age.  But when I think about the negative impact that being social can have I think I am ok with her not trying to FIT IN, not worrying about who her friends are.  I have her home, I have an opportunity to grow her spiritual faith walk, reassure her she is perfectly and wonderfully made and teach her who her real BFF is each morning as we open up our bibles to learn scripture and talk about Who God is!!!

I send my son to school everyday, all day because he needs structure, he has the opportunity to work with amazing people who specialize in helping to develop and help fit pieces of his puzzle together.  Was it easy?  NO, he is my baby, at this age all my other children went three days a week for a few hours.  If there ever comes a time where I feel God telling me to do something different, I WILL.

Sometimes we have a plan, we have our lives figured out of what we think it should look like and sometimes we don't see what blessings come with going with Gods plan for us.  The daughter that was always against me that I would butt heads with is now for me.  Our relationship has changed.  Some day she will realize what I gave up for her and only her, someday she will know deep in her heart that I lived and loved her fearlessly.  That is the impact I want to have for each of my kids.   I think when we give in we see that there is so much more we were made for.