As I sat at school volunteering yesterday, during inside recess...a young girl in 4th grade comes over and asks if she could help me!! What? A 4th grader would rather help me {a STRANGER} with my volunteer work for the 3rd grade class, then enjoy her free recess time? Her teacher told me that the girls in class weren't being very nice to her. WHAT?? I don't get this??? How can we help these young girls and boys to BE NICE, just BE NICE!!!! Then, I hear of my oldest daughter getting completely ignored {often} by a friend she used to call her BFF. I know that term BFF gets out of hand, I prefer GFF {Girl Friends Forever} So, I'm a mom and I start to think, I have been telling her for a year to be sure to wear deodorant and be sure you are clean and have showered before your girlfriends come over..brush your teeth and make sure you cleanse and take care of your skin. I even go as far as to say you won't have any friends if you stink and have bad breath {in a kind and loving way}. Maybe she forgot to put her deodorant on and now this friend thinks she is gross? Maybe she had food caught in her teeth and this friend couldn't bear to be around her anymore? Maybe it was the auto immune attack on her body that effected her skin leaving her with a rash on her face and neck, or the reaction from her braces that caused her gums to get inflamed? Maybe it is because she is homeschooling now and friends can't go to different schools, or maybe she is just TOO shy? I don't know...
I do know one thing, maybe it could be as simple as all parents teaching are children to just BE NICE anyway. You don't have to be BFF's, that is a choice and friendships change, but acting like you don't even know them anymore is mean. Maybe we as parents could help our children to learn to communicate, but if you don't want to talk about something just being nice would make a world of difference.
Then, I hear about the "popular girls" and my daughter and I have this conversation about what a popular girl is? She said, how are they popular when they are only nice to the people in their group of friends? Right?? She is right, what makes that popular? So, I tell her I think popular is being nice and accepting everyone for who they are, for never excluding or thinking you are better than someone else. Maybe it is a BOY that makes you popular, if so, then I would be much more excited for her to not be popular at age 12. I would much rather have my 12 year old daughter learning about who she is in Christ then who she needs to be to have this boyfriend. I think being popular is comforting the ones who are being left out, for spending time with the girls that just want someone to talk to. For knowing that your boyfriend will search you out by first searching Christ.
When my daughter decided she wanted to homeschool...I didn't know why? I fought it for a few years. Now, I think about it and I guess knowing that coming into a small community, with girls that had grown up together forever MIGHT be hard, and realizing and hearing some of the other struggles pre teens are having..I AM SO THANKFUL that I said YES!! She is stronger, and is understanding it isn't her, it is them. She knows how she wants to be treated, and knows how God sees her and that is all that matters. She told me she doesn't think she has found her forever friend...sad, but when she does she will know. But for now, I will keep reminding her to JUST BE NICE!!!! #bringingithome
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